Yesterday was better than the day before. I woke up with a reminder for myself to not give too much attention on negative thoughts. I will recognize the presence of the thought but that’s it. I will keep on working on the tasks of the day.
So, yesterday at work, I was productive. I didn’t finish everything that I had set out to do but I know I did my very best.
When I got home, I had dinner and it all went south from there. I was so tired that I had no willpower to stop myself from scrolling through videos until it was midnight. When I woke up this morning, the first thought that came to mind were the backlog of papers that I still had to deal with at work. Instead of getting out of bed, I scrolled through videos again to temporarily forget about the mountain of task waiting for me. I felt frustrated why I had allowed it to come to this point. I work very very hard yet I still don’t get things done. I stay at work after hours and go to work a few hours on my days off and yet I still have lots of unfinished paperwork. This defeated mood lasted from 5:30am to 10am until I finally was able to shake it off and got up to write this blog post.
I know there will be more of these moments where I will find myself disappointed and frustrated by the endless amount of work that still needs to be done despite the fact that I have been working super hard. But I should not let these emotions and thoughts rule my day. I know this will happen again, but I need to do my best to recognize it and stop it by doing actual work, crossing off tasks from my to do list. Because taking action is the only way to get things done. Overthinking won’t get the dishes done. In the unfortunate event that I end up giving in to scrolling to avoid the negative emotions ,I should keep it short so I won’t be wasting time. Set a timer for 10 minutes and move on to doing productive tasks once the alarm goes off.
Today is a better day. I will list the tasks I have done at the end of the day. This way I can keep track of my progress.
30 days to June 1. I want to have something to show for on that day! Oh God, I need all the help you can send me!
Day 150/180 (ChatGPT version)
Yesterday was better than the day before. I woke up reminding myself not to give too much attention to negative thoughts. I’ll notice them, acknowledge them, and then keep moving forward with my tasks.
At work, I was productive. I didn’t finish everything I planned, but I know I did my best.
But when I got home, things went downhill. After dinner, I was so tired that I had zero willpower left, and I ended up scrolling on my phone until midnight.
This morning, the first thing on my mind was the pile of paperwork waiting for me. Instead of getting out of bed, I grabbed my phone again—trying to escape the overwhelming feeling of being behind. I felt frustrated with myself. I work incredibly hard, I stay late, I even go in on my days off… yet I still can’t seem to catch up.
That defeated feeling lasted from 5:30 a.m. to 10 a.m., until I finally shook it off and got up to write this post.
The truth is, there will be more days like this—days where I feel disappointed and frustrated because no matter how hard I work, the tasks keep coming. But I can’t let these emotions run my day. When the thoughts show up again (and they will), I need to recognize them, pause, and then take action. Because action is the only thing that gets things done.
Overthinking won’t do the dishes.
Scrolling won’t clear the paperwork pile.
And if I do end up mindlessly scrolling to escape the stress, I need to keep it short. Set a 10-minute timer, enjoy the break, and then get back to work as soon as the alarm rings.
Today is a better day. Tonight, I’ll list what I accomplished so I can see my progress clearly.
Thirty days until June 1.
I want something real to show by then.
Oh God… I need all the help You can send me.
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