Yesterday was better than the day before. I woke up with a reminder for myself to not give too much attention on negative thoughts. I will recognize the presence of the thought but that’s it. I will keep on working on the tasks of the day.
So, yesterday at work, I was productive. I didn’t finish everything that I had set out to do but I know I did my very best.
When I got home, I had dinner and it all went south from there. I was so tired that I had no willpower to stop myself from scrolling through videos until it was midnight. When I woke up this morning, the first thought that came to mind were the backlog of papers that I still had to deal with at work. Instead of getting out of bed, I scrolled through videos again to temporarily forget about the mountain of task waiting for me. I felt frustrated why I had allowed it to come to this point. I work very very hard yet I still don’t get things done. I stay at work after hours and go to work a few hours on my days off and yet I still have lots of unfinished paperwork. This defeated mood lasted from 5:30am to 10am until I finally was able to shake it off and got up to write this blog post.
I know there will be more of these moments where I will find myself disappointed and frustrated by the endless amount of work that still needs to be done despite the fact that I have been working super hard. But I should not let these emotions and thoughts rule my day. I know this will happen again, but I need to do my best to recognize it and stop it by doing actual work, crossing off tasks from my to do list. Because taking action is the only way to get things done. Overthinking won’t get the dishes done. In the unfortunate event that I end up giving in to scrolling to avoid the negative emotions ,I should keep it short so I won’t be wasting time. Set a timer for 10 minutes and move on to doing productive tasks once the alarm goes off.
Today is a better day. I will list the tasks I have done at the end of the day. This way I can keep track of my progress.
30 days to June 1. I want to have something to show for on that day! Oh God, I need all the help you can send me!
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