My activities today (Day off ):
- Went to church with my sister
- Went to the mall with my sister
- Went to the grocery store with my brother
- Washed the dishes
- Did 1 load of laundry
REALIZATION:
As I was taking my clothes out of the dryer, an amazing realization dawned on me. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before. For years, I knew I had to change a lot of my habits inorder to improve different aspects of my life. I knew it and more importantly I want to make those changes. But I keep failing. I have read somewhere that inorder to change, I need to think of my new identity and live it. So, I kept thinking and telling myself my new identity as being responsible, present, hopeful and alive. And for a few days, I would embody all those qualities. But then I will also have multiple days of behaving like my old self, back to being a procrastinator, avoiding difficult tasks, defeated and ruminating about the mistakes I made in the past, regretting all the time I have wasted half awake living my life. And I would repeat this cycle of victory and defeat. The strategy works but I didn’t know why I can’t be consistent with living my new identity. Until yesterday, it dawned on me, that I have made a mistake in applying the principle. Yes, I need to know the qualities of the new person I want to become, because that will dictate how I will now behave, but also as important is that I should not deny the strong presence of my old self. I need to be fully aware that since I am just starting to embody my new identity, my old self is still the stronger voice that is in control. So, everyday, I just need to always cast my vote to my new self and act like it fully aware that my old self my resurface if I don’t resist it.
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